Dancing the night away in SK

Ever wondered what a nightclub in Slovakia looked like?

Well your wait is over. Here's a little clip:



And if you were wondering how the drinks looked, here's your answer:



As always the jonathanism is: flashing multi-coloured retro lights always mean that you're in for a good time.

Christmas Markets around Europe

After our look at the Christmas Market in Brussels, I present to you a photo gallery of the Christmas Markets in Bruges, Koln, Kosice and Bratislava.

Bruges






The prettiest city of all had a colorful display of lights and a pretty skating rink. This was included by overpriced food and not enough Christmas music. I enjoyed it here.

Kosice





Kosice really brought out the big guns with great food, punc, nice decor and lively conversation (the Slovak and I met some Canadians here and discussed life away from home and the Kosice-Nitra Hockey game.) On top of it all I had my first taste of Langos here. Good times.

Koln





With German efficiency and understated gothic beauty, this Christmas Market hit the spot on a 5 hour stopover before flying to Slovakia. Oh, and I had a bratwurst and a pretzel.

Bratislava





Slovakia's main Christmas Market and the best in my opinion. It's filled with locals, punc, Christmas music and Christmas cheer. Also we got to share a drink here with our friend the "Swedish Philosophy Professor." Quite an enjoyable afternoon. (Note - night pictures are from 2005 visit)

Today's jonathanism: A good Christmas market makes a cold afternoon/evening a lot more enjoyable and some nice punc/langos always helps fight the winter blues. All in all a highly recommended experience.

Hockey Night In Kosice

Hello out there,

They weren't on the air,
But it was hockey night Friday night.
The whistle blowed, the tension growed and the fans jumped upright,
In Kosice the game was played and the hockey was insane.



Goals were scored,
the crowd they roared,
at the Kosice-Nitra hockey game.



The game was smooth,
the players moved,
and penalties fell like rain.



The crowd was great,
and the players were on skates,
and after one hit I nearly burst a vein,
the fans didn't care, they didn't cheer but that didn't drive me insane because I was at a good hockey game.



And after the game the player's partook in a Slovak hockey ritual:



Today's jonathanism is a simple one: Oh, the good old hockey game, is the best game you can name and the best game you can name is the good old hockey game.

Christmas Dinner is in the Bath!!!

Being that this is my first Christmas in Slovakia/Europe, I felt it necessary to bring a piece Slovak Christmas to you at home.

Slovak tradition dictates that Christmas dinner is to be held on December 24th and that the main course be fish not meat (I cannot state how dissapointing this was to me when I first heard this but that's beyond the point). In Slovakia, fish means carp. So Christmas dinner will be carp. Easy enough, right?

That's what I thought when the Slovak and I went to the local "hypermarket" to buy the fish. When we arrived at the hypermarket we were greeted by a group of people buying fish and staring at a large container. What followed was both shocking and photo-blog worthy. So without further ado, I present my photo-blog of how Christmas dinner found its way into the bath:






After a flipping and flopping ride home, here's how dinner looks now:



So here's the jonathanism for today: if your dinner is staring at you while you go to the toilet, try not to stare back, it'll make you feel bad.

To be continued: Tommorow is the execution.

SVIECKOVA - the Elisha Cuthbert of food

Well the great Christmas journey 2006 is over, here I am in the great land of Kosice in Eastern Slovakia. And what a journey it was to get here. Through my journeys I have visited such notable tourist hotspots such as Koln, Bratislava, Petrazalka and now Kosice. It took trains, planes and automobiles to get here but now I am safe and sound and about to eat some SVIECKOVA.

Friends, I feel that I must let you all in on a little secret that only the few the proud and the travel weary of us hold and that secret is: there is no greater food than svieckova!!!



Meat, sauce and knedlou all in one place. You eat the meat and it's tender, you eat the sauce and it's great and then you throw in the knedlou to soak in the sauce's awesomeness and well it's enough to bring tears to a man's eyes. Tears of joy. Tears of pure, unadulterated joy.

If you have ever seen the film "The Girl Next Door", it's like the look on Emile Hersch's face when he realizes that the girl next door is Elisha Cuthbert. PURE JOY!!!! (See adjoining photo to see Emile Hersch's reaction to the news)



Ok it may not be equal to having Elisha Cuthbert as a neighbour but it's as close as food can get.



Just about the only thing that can ruin some good svieckova is having to eat it too fast and here in good old Kosice, the svieckova is always great but the problem is with the service. It's too fast. It seems that speed is the name of the game. Eat, eat, eat, move, move, move. Too much food too fast.

It's like poor Emile in The Girl Next Door, he got Elisha Cuthbert, everything was going great but it was all too fast for him. Too fast and he nearly blew it. Well that and the fact she was a porn star (and her pimp was trying to get her back so he stole a ton of money from the high school and blamed it on Emile). Nevertheless, I blame it on the too much good food too fast theory.

So anywho what does this have to do with my lunch? I have figured out how to slow down the serving process and make svieckova eating more enjoyable. So here is today's jonathanism: EAT GOOD FOOD SLOWLY and PROTECT THE PLATE. Not only will you digest better but you enjoy the food more. Oh, and The Girl Next Door is available at a rental place near you!

Brussels and Ottawa - some objects are closer than they appear

One Saturday night only a few weeks after I had moved to Ottawa a friend called me and asked if I wanted to go to a club with him. I said "sure, but what do I wear? Can I wear jeans and running shoes?"

His answer surprised me and summed up my time in Ottawa perfectly: "It's Ottawa, man."

At the time I didn't understand so I asked again and again the response was that it was Ottawa. He then explained that in Ottawa anything goes. This was not your Montreal nightspot but Ottawa. So I went out dressed in my normal going out clothes - a shirt and dress shoes. Only when I got to the club did I realize that this was Ottawa and dress code was "whatever."



Now I tell you this because last night I went out for one of the first times to a nightspot in Brussels as I was lucky enough to escort the Cypriot and the Lithuanian/Icelandic ballerina to an event at a Brussels nightspot.

So as I stood there watching all the guys drooling over the Cypriot and the Lithuanian/Icelandic ballerina (side note - if you want to see some INCREDIBLE dancing go out with the Cypriot and the Ballerina) I couldn't help but feel back at home - this was an Ottawa bar (bear in mind Ottawa is not home but I did live there a while).

There were all the qualities of an Ottawa bar:

Guys were dressed any which way. Guys outnumbered girls 10 to 1. No one is from Ottawa/Brussels and you're shocked to meet a local (we had this experience with a guy who we all thought was from the States due to the crew cut and exceedingly bad dancing, but anywho on with the story). People dance ... "interestingly" (I am no Fred Astaire but still I was definitely in the top 15% of the men at that bar). Oh, and to make it even more Ottawa-like, there was a guy there that I am sure came from Riviere-des-Loups to the big city for a good time (no offence to anyone from Riviere-des-Loups, I love any place where there is a river of wolves).

That is when today's jonathanism hit me: Brussels is the Ottawa of Europe. If Montreal is the Paris, Brussels is definitely the Ottawa. So next time anyone asks me what to wear to a club/event here in Brussels I will be sure to answer "It's Ottawa man, it's Ottawa."

(Side note for any Canadians out there - when I made this analogy to the Cypriot and the Lithuanian/Icelandic Ballerina they both laughed at the idea of Montreal being like Paris and said "oh you Quebecois!" What does that mean?)

One TAFW Cypriot!

A few weeks back the Slovak and I were having dinner with our dear dear friend, the Cypriot, when the discussion turned to ideas for this blog.

Would it be a joint blog between me and the Slovak? Would we try to write things that are happening in our life day-to-day? And then it happened! The Cypriot smilingly asked whether I was going to write about the "jonathanisms"? And that is where it all started!

So here I am writing a jonathanism or two and making the world a better place while dispensing important advice to those of you with the patience to read me out.

Now why would I start talking about the Cypriot?

The reason is to laud upon her a muse like status, almost like Clio, Urania or Melpomene. Our Cypriot has the gentle touch of a perfect muse, always trying to help you reach your higher point and never forcing her opinion on you. She is always there to provide a hand when one is needed. To put it simply, she is a BMW in a world full of Ladas.

Now friends, I feel it is my duty, nay, my responsibility, to write about this Cypriot because she is truly TAFW! And let me tell you, TAFW people are few and far between.

So here's the jonathanism for today (directed specially towards single gentlemen): Seek out our Cypriot for she is Too Awesome For Words.

Please send your cover letter with a picture to me at jonathanisms@gmail.com and you will be informed about the date and the place of the casting call.

My pancake urge!!

When I was back in the 514 last month a sudden urge hit me and it lingered with me all the way back to Brussels. I couldn’t shake it. I tried. I crepe you not, I tried. But it was stronger than me. I couldn’t resist and frankly, I was a fool for trying: I NEEDED PANCAKES!!!

Yup, PANCAKES!!! FLAPJACKS!! HOTCAKES!! God’s answer to the question: what is the breakfast of champions?

So yesterday morning for the December 5^th National Holiday we decided that pancakes were in order. Let me just say that they were awesome and filled the spot, perfectly.

Friends, in order to try to help you get the real pleasure of pancakes I have comprised a simple guide for the proper making of pancakes:

Step 1 - Scour the internet for a good pancake recipe or just use this one.

Step 2 - Prepare your ingredients and be properly dressed for pancake making (see adjoining picture for a better understanding of what to wear)

Step 3 - DO NOT OVERMIX YOUR INGREDIENTS!!! OVERMIXING WILL MAKE CREPES and that is just not the same!

Step 4 – Ensure that you have a proper flipping and catching technique for your pancake making.

Step 5- Place all pancakes on a plate and serve!!

Step 6 – Enjoy your pancakes.

So here’s the jonathanism for today: pancake making is a fun filled experience and should be done at a time when you have a chance to savour the experience. Don’t make pancakes if you’re in a rush. Making the pancakes is half the fun.

Blue Christmas in the Grand Place

Due to today's December 5th National Holiday there will be an abbreviated jonathanisms. So instead of giving you a long schpiel about what you are about to see I will let the picture do the talking.





So here's today's December 5th National Holiday Edition of jonathanisms: when Christmas in Brussels comes around try and go see the big tree at the Grand Place. It's truly a sight to see.

Suit Up!!!

Dear Friends,

I have come to realize that too few of you are acquainted with a man who has truly revolutionized the world as we know it. His name - Barney.

Yes, Barney.

Not Barney Rubble but Barney Stinson. See adjoining photo to see his quite well suited up physique.

Barney is a character on the TV show "How I met your Mother."

If you are not watching that show weekly or if you don't rush out immediately to the video store to rent season 1 on DVD well let's just say that you're missing out on one of the greatest TV characters in the history of television!!!

Barney represents the prototype bachelor who doesn't have a care in the world other than going out to bars, finding some hot thing and well just being awesome all the time. Barney values his private life, values discretion and most of all values his freedom.

Barney has come up with some of the most witty and hilarious lines ever such as:

• "Legendary" or "Legen -now wait for it and I hope your not lactose intolerant because the second part is - dary."
• "Suit up."
• And my all time favorite, I wish I could be the wingman for someone like him line -" Have you met.... (insert name of friend here)?"

Here's a video to help you understand how LEGENDARY Barney is. He's just plain awesome.

So here's the jonathanism for today: you folks need to watch this show. This is like missing out on Mozart when he came to your town back in 18th century Austria or New Kids on the Block on tour in 1990. It’s downright criminal! So go forth with this knowledge and watch this show because something this awesome only comes along once in a week.

PLEASE NOTE - I am extremely content in my lifestyle and in no means intend to follow this path but please for those of you who still can FOLLOW BARNEY!!!

The Faces!

Earlier this morning as I was choosing what socks to wear I looked out our bedroom window and noticed two guys standing on the other side of the street staring at our building with admiration and giving each other impressed looks.

Now my first thought when seeing that was “hmm, I sure hope the woman on the second floor who looks a little like Claire Danes isn’t standing naked in front of her window again.” And then it dawned on me:

They were looking at the faces! The faces!!
Yup, it had to be the faces. I nodded in appreciation as well.

Now let me go back in time to when my girl and I were looking for an apartment.

We were searching for an apartment that had the “booyow!” factor. So we went to visit a little over 30 apartments. And then we found it. The apartment! To top it all off it had awesome sculptured faces on façade.

I love the faces.

I could spend all day standing on the other side of the street or on our frontbalcony staring at them. They are in a word “legendary”.

I will write more about the apartment later, but now I’ll drop the jonathanism of the day: if you live in an apartment that has sculptured faces on the façade be aware that people on the other side of the street will be looking up at your building in admiration, so please try to choose your socks after getting dressed. Not before.

Okay, I made the part about being naked up but the rest of the story is 100% true.