Where have I BEEN??

It's been a while since I sat down to write something up. It's not for lack of things going on but rather on a lack of "je ne sais pas quoi." Basically things have been rather hectic around the old homestead and other places.

So quickly here's an update of what been going on in the past month:

• A four week wait was cut down to 9 days thanks for some help from some friends.
• A rather hasty trip to Canada was scheduled.
• A Brussels-New York flight was the ideal place for me to watch the Queen and to discuss it in great detail with the sketchy guy.
  
• A two hour stop-over at JFK became a six hour stopover complete with people screaming, flights being canceled, a woman in front of me giving herself a pedicure and another talking on the phone saying "Oh honey, I can't wait to have you all over me..." A rather interesting time was had by all.
  
• The Montreal-New York puddle jumper including two New York jews talking about hitting up the old Montreal hotspot, Super Sexe.
  
• A visit to Montreal which included freezing, eating and getting myself all "papered" up.
  
• A visit to Alexandria, Ontario and its local ice-fishing competition with the immortal Mark Parsons and wife. Nothing says fun like a random small town and its diners.
  
• A return to Brussels with 35 kilos worth of junk more than when I left. Thank goodness I only brought one pair of long-johns and 6 underwear for my trip or else I was in trouble.
• Lastly this time has been spent starting a new and exciting career here in Brussels.
  

So basically here's the jonathanism for today: when the author is away, things are usually in play.

The Jinx

A few weeks back as I watched the last moments of the Patriots immortality wane away and the Peyton Manning Hype begin I couldn't help but blame the dude sitting next to me at the bar where I watched the game. Midway through the second quarter as the Pats took an 18 point lead he blurted out: "That's it. Gameover no point in sticking around it's 2.30am and I have to work in the morning." Only seconds later the Colts scored and he decided to sit down and watch the rest of the game with the 40 odd people still there. By the time 4am rolled around and I was walking home dejected and alone (Brussels at 4am is deadsville and pretty spooky if you ask me. Total cars counted on the 20 minute walk home - 2) I was certain it was his fault. He put the jinx on the Pats.

Why am I telling you this? Because I think I just put the jinx on the city of Brussels. Dang it to heck. Early Sunday evening I made a phone call back home, a phone call I will live to regret for a while. After the normal conversational fun, my mother asked me the typical Sunday question "how is the weather over there?" As I told her I giddly mentioned that Saturday was so nice that the Vyvolena and I took a walk around town and it was 15 C. I mean it was seriously nice. So I started mocking Montreal winters. I told them how the only snow I had seen all year was in the Slovak mountains and laughed that the next time I would see snow is when I came back to Montreal later this month. Then this morning when the Vyvolena told me that in Montreal it was -26C I continued my laughing ways as I noted that in Brussels it was 5C. A 31 degree difference. Maybe it's not Aruba but still, good times.



Well the good times have come to an end. When I was taking the trash out this evening, I noticed something falling from the heavens. At first I was afraid. Oh, I was petrified. For snow was a fallin'. White snow. (Now I am writing this only moments after seeing the snow so I hope it will all melt away and this will be just another bad dream. I will let you know.)

So here's the jonathanism for today: when times are good do not mock those who are stuck in -26C weather because the jinx will catch up to you. Someway, somehow.

Oh and never walk alone in Brussels at 4 am in the morning unless you are able to defend yourself, it's a truly scary experience.

Go Bears!!!

One of the worst things about being in Europe this time of year is the 6 hour time delay for playoff football. Especially tonight it's gonna be a long night but it will all be worth it when the Bears maul them Colts to win the Super Bowl. If this doesn't happen well ignore this post and read something else and if it does happen I have something to crow about.

So here's the jonathanism for today: making bold predictions is easier when you are surrounded by people who don't know what your talking about. They won't bother me about it in the morning or even better they will say "The Colts, the Bears, what is he talking about?" and that's just the Vyvolena. But for those of you who understand/care GO BEARS!!!

Our trip to the Tatry Mountains

Sorry for not writing in quite a while. Things have been rather busy out here at the penthouse and I haven't found time to write. But I must tell you the story of our trip to the Tatra mountains.

In Slovakia, the day after Christmas is the biggest get down and boogie day of the year. It is called St. Stephan's day. Or as I referred to it: Boxing Day minus the Boxing. I mean come on, Boxing Day is the single greatest day of the year: you go to the mall, you're surrounded by the whole city, you get a few bargains, maybe catch the flu, but it's all good.

However as there are not many (if any - using Carrefour Laval as my comparison) malls in Slovakia and absolutely no good bargains at any of them (although I did buy the Vyvolena Connect 4 for less than $2 CAD), it is all different. Supposedly St. Stephen's day is the biggest clubbing day of the year. All the kids look forward to it all year long. In order to properly celebrate this important day, the Vyvolena (I have decided that henceforth "the Slovak" is not appropriate and my lady should be referred to as my "Vyvolena") and I decided to go to the Tatry mountains with several of our friends.

I could bore you with a minute by minute account of the trip but I won't. Why you ask? Because I like you.

In the Tatry mountains we were blessed with the most lovely weather, we went on two excellent hikes, got lost in the dark only once and I thought I was going to die only for 30 minutes (much better last time when I caught pneumonia and thought I was going to die for weeks). I also learnt how to prepare Slovak style for a hike: Kofola, Um and cheese.



We also got to ride a cable car to the second highest peak in the land.


The trip included visits to a bowling alley (where the pins were not standard bowling pins and had no pin action, but I digress) and to the local Aquapark. The Aquapark featured a real Eastern European steam sauna and a common changing room (quite strange). Oh and before I forget to mention, yes, men wear speedos for the most part. Too much information if you ask me.

But most of all I will remember this trip for the people with whom we got to share the experience. They were the ones who made this trip so memorable. Who was with us? Well here are some of them:

Ginty - A professional chess player from Lithuania. He was ranked number 1 in Lithuania before some sort of scandal rocked the Lithuanian chess world. Even though he didn't want to talk about chess too much, Ginty did mention that he prefers to move his pawns after his knights. So now you can at least say you learn something from reading my blog.

The Writer - Our host. He was kind enough to allow us to stay with him in his Winter villa. He's writing a book about a man who is searching for the killer of his family . The book brought him to the Slovak mountains to get inspiration for a chapter or two about a wolf. I would tell you more but you should just read the book (eventually.)

The Swedish Philosophy Professor - Pan Professor as we liked to call him was full of insight and amazement. It was he who understood the importance of laughter and helped me set up certain hilarious events throughout the trip. It was also he who told me I was going to die when we were left behind on one of our hikes. He also danced with the Vyvolena.

The Basketball All-Star - Resting up for a possible return to pro action. She was using the high altitude of the mountains to train.

The Siberian Rapper - A Siberian rap sensation, he came to the Slovak mountains in order to promote in the Western World his latest CD "Rap in the age of Siberia" and to get down to the funky beats at the Slovak clubs. Unfortunately he wasn't very impressed.

The Birthday Girl - The Writer's wife. Although it was her birthday, she gave us the biggest present with her smile.



Lastly, the Slovak Dancer - Tango, Merengue, Cha-Cha are all in her repertoire but when she laid eyes on the writer's dance moves there was only one reaction possible.

So here's the jonathanism for today: in order to enjoy a good time on a trip, it's important to have a diverse group of people with varied interests and backgrounds. For example if our group had solely been comprised of people who work, worked, would like to work for, would kill to work for, would sell their soul to work for the European Institutions that would have been boring. Thank goodness for diversity.







Oh and we found out that you can fit two people comfortably in the trunk of a Skoda Octavia. Hoorah for Skoda!!!

Happy 2007 from Jonathanisms

In order to properly show the excitement that is New Year's Eve in Kosice, I videotaped some of the fireworks display for you. Notice how close we were to the launcher.

This video is the best one I have which doesn't have me laughing or my Vyvolena (yes I have decided to call her my Vyvolena from now on as "the Slovak" could have meant anyone and imagine how weird it would be if I was always referring to Robert Fico when I stated "the Slovak") telling me "How can someone from Montreal which has the greatest fireworks competition in the world be taping this?"

Anyhow. Happy New Year. Best wishes and good luck. Oh and today's jonathanism is: Be safe out there when spending New Year's Eve in Slovakia. Trust me on this one.

Dancing the night away in SK

Ever wondered what a nightclub in Slovakia looked like?

Well your wait is over. Here's a little clip:



And if you were wondering how the drinks looked, here's your answer:



As always the jonathanism is: flashing multi-coloured retro lights always mean that you're in for a good time.

Christmas Markets around Europe

After our look at the Christmas Market in Brussels, I present to you a photo gallery of the Christmas Markets in Bruges, Koln, Kosice and Bratislava.

Bruges






The prettiest city of all had a colorful display of lights and a pretty skating rink. This was included by overpriced food and not enough Christmas music. I enjoyed it here.

Kosice





Kosice really brought out the big guns with great food, punc, nice decor and lively conversation (the Slovak and I met some Canadians here and discussed life away from home and the Kosice-Nitra Hockey game.) On top of it all I had my first taste of Langos here. Good times.

Koln





With German efficiency and understated gothic beauty, this Christmas Market hit the spot on a 5 hour stopover before flying to Slovakia. Oh, and I had a bratwurst and a pretzel.

Bratislava





Slovakia's main Christmas Market and the best in my opinion. It's filled with locals, punc, Christmas music and Christmas cheer. Also we got to share a drink here with our friend the "Swedish Philosophy Professor." Quite an enjoyable afternoon. (Note - night pictures are from 2005 visit)

Today's jonathanism: A good Christmas market makes a cold afternoon/evening a lot more enjoyable and some nice punc/langos always helps fight the winter blues. All in all a highly recommended experience.